Closed Prompt #1-2008 Question 1- Comparing John Keats’ “When I Have Fears” to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s “Mezzo Cammin”

Analysis on Essay by Student 1A (9)

            This student shows an excellent understanding of the similarities and differences in the two poems, and is able to compare them regarding both the themes and the poetic devices used. While the argument is not highly sophisticated, it provides adequate evidence for its claims and remains persuasive. The student does a good job in the introduction by immediately giving a brief overview of the common subject between the two poems, which he/she phrases as “unfulfilled dreams and the imminence of death,” and summarizes the way in which the authors interpret this subject differently. The student emphasizes the different perspectives by stating that the imminence of death threatens Keats’ aspirations, while Longfellow considers his inevitable end to leave him devoid of aspiration all together. However, Longfellow does actually say in line 8 that sorrow kept him from what he “may accomplish yet.” The student perhaps ignores some more ambiguous language in the Longfellow poem to aid in the discussion of the differences stated in the thesis. The second paragraph seems to build on the idea that the similarities are mostly restricted to the beginnings of the poems, but this is understandable since the prompt emphasizes “poetic techniques,” and is supported by ample evidence. The third and final paragraphs provide very persuasive comparisons using the imagery and the differences in context, and overall the essay certainly deserves an 8. If the student had more closely defined the terms “anaphora” and “alliteration,” it may have qualified as a 9.

Analysis on Essay by Student 1B (5)

            While there are few conventions errors in the piece and the language flows fairly well, the flaws with this essay that earned it a lower score arise in the structure. The student does not establish a strong thesis in the beginning, pointing out a main difference and a weakly summarized similarity. The student spends most of the essay beating into the ground a few obvious metaphors that caught his or her attention. While the interpretation of these metaphors is well thought-out, it operates under the premise that the existence of the metaphors themselves is a valid point of comparison. In addition, the analyses of the two poems are never brought side-by-side, leaving the student’s argument unpersuasive. Had he or she added another paragraph in which to address similarities, he or she may have earned a 6, but it is unlikely considering the shallowness of the existing comparison. This student would have fared better if the prompt had favored individual interpretation over compare and contrast.

Analysis on Essay by Student 1C (3)

            There are many problems with this essay in structure, mechanics, and quality of interpretation. The student does not elaborate on any of his/her claims, which show only basic understanding of the poems. In the first paragraph, the student opens with a similarity about what one can only assume is the rhythmic pattern of the verse, although he/she never elaborates, probably because the observation is only a general one. The main point in the second paragraph is that Keats presents himself as “ready to die.” However, the poem suggests quite the opposite in some ways, which include the final couplet, “Of the wide world I stand alone and think, / Till love and fame to nothingness do I sink.” These lines imply that the speaker has desire for success and romance, but is facing a crisis over the time he has left and his impending fate. Regardless, such a counter argument is essentially moot, since the student has not provided enough evidence to support any interpretation. The third paragraph addresses the Longfellow poem in much the same way by making generalizations and then redundantly concluding from them. The conclusion does little more than combine the two main generalizations about each poem, for which the position is already questionable. The essay does not demonstrate the proficiency of any higher rating due to its ineptitude, and avoids being labelled as a 2 only because of overall coherency.